Beautiful Life by Bruce Thomas

Author:Bruce Thomas [Thomas, Bruce]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2017-07-26T03:00:00+00:00

all I wanted was to never look away. "I didn't know how."

"How about, hey Fred, I'm dropping out of NYU and moving back home so we will never see each other again. That sure of hell would have gotten my attention."

"I didn't think you'd care," I pathetically answered.

"I care enough to show up here!" He shouted into the open. His eyes seared into mine. "I care." I shook my head with asking what he meant on the tip of my tongue but he answered before I could.

"I panicked when Elmer told me, Annaanna. Several things ran through my mind when I was told you weren't coming back, that I'd probably never see you again. So I'm going to apologize to you because that seemed to be the only thing I do for you lately. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. For making your life hell, for messing with your head because mine is so messed up. For running out on you when you were most vulnerable. I'm sorry for ruining your trust in me because that's so special coming from you. I'm so sorry."

Fred's breathing was rapid and his face was full of remorse. In fact, it made me sad to hear all this because it reminded me why I am here, back home, in the first place.

"I wanted a proper goodbye, Annaanna. We've been through enough together that I think I deserve it. So I got on a plane and now I'm here."

"You're here to say goodbye." The words hurt coming out. There was a reason why I didn't do it in the first place. If I didn't say that one word then maybe it would never really happen.

The muscles in his jaw clenched under the skylights in the parking lot. He looked away out towards the college building with narrowed eyes. His head started to shake back and forth slowly and then quicker in pace when his gaze returned to mine.

"I know I've been horrible to you. God, I know I have. I'm rude and pessimistic about everything, I have the worst potty mouth because I'm terrible at showing any emotions that don't include hate and anger-and jealousy too. A lot of jealousy...since I met you."

I ducked my head to hide my face because I was not prepared for this to happen. This was really happening.

"I want to be honest with you. But I don't know how." His head stopped shaking back and forth and his eyes locked tight on mine. Without thinking I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him. Resting my cheeks against his chest, I basked in the way that he returned the favor and wrapped his arms around my lower back. With his nose buried in my hair, he sigh. I could feel the breath leave him from the way I was holding him.

"I'm sorry, too," I finally said after a few beats. It felt only right to apologize also. "Don't say you're sorry. You always do that. You shouldn't have to say sorry for someone else's stupid mistakes.

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